How a poorly planned separation in marriage between two adults really hampers the children the couple have had for future

THE EMOTIONAL LIFE OF YOUR BRAIN BY RICHARD DAVIDSON PH.D

It’s an eye opener of a book, yet for me the crucial entry states that children as young as 10 months to 3rd have temperaments that can be measured , yet depending upon nurture these temperaments are not stable , yet as plasticine prone to be moulded over time to a resilient trait. All that is required is nurture, care and a hands on approach to parenting.

Amazingly most children , the one with shy temperaments and those who are outgoing over a period of 10 12  yrs of parenting veer towards the mean or average.

Thus,  it’s not only the genetic blueprint that one is born with, but,  also the environment that makes the gene turn on that dictates the future of the child’s emotional style.

In my view separation, divorce after having a child in a a coupling is a problem more for the child than the uncoupling adults. Even more devastating is a poorly planned separation in which the child harbours the guilt ( unknowingly and a falsepremise) of thinking it is the cause of the separation.

With divorce rates increasing and women emancipation bringing a new found independence to the mother, both biological parents have to be blamed. It’s time to focus on the child and the future. Let’s understand that a child from a  messy divorce or separation stands to lose immeasurably in the future as an adult. The root lies in the childhood strife and stress.

Take notice , wake up, the foundation of a stable adulthe is the nurture of children.

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