Raise The Child You Have, Not the One You Wish You Had

We all love our child to succeed in life. Not a bad thought as long as our wish remains for their own sakes. But the problem most of we do is to wish the child to succeed for our sakes. Everybody wishes their child to be an astonishing whiz kid or a cross country marathon champion. Every parent expects the child to achieve what they could not achieve in their childhood. Remember your child may look like you but he or she is neither an extension of your ambition nor a tool to fulfill your wish list. What is the way out? It is a tough challenge but not a one that cannot be achieved says a renowned child psychologist in Pune.

  • Understand their choices

In the first place, realize the possibility that your child would have to face several hardships to achieve what you have dreamt to be. You may love trekking but your child may opt for skating. You may wish your child to be an engineer, but his or her interest may be in fashion designing. Their choices may be different and try to respect them. Infact it is the first step towards good parenting.

  • Competitive parenting

In an activity that involves competition among several children, every parent aspire their child to emerge as a winner. But is it possible? There can be only one winner and the rest have to settle for consolation prizes. But the peer pressure among parents makes them never satisfied with consolation prizes. Instead it makes them push the child into the corner and stimulate them to extract more out of their kids. It should be borne in the mind that they are kids and they have their own capabilities and weakness. Competitive parenting may never solve the problem and also has the huge potential to aggravate the problem. In short, stop comparisons.

  • Encourage the wonder of childhood

Many a time, we get irritated with what our child does – spilling glue over the sofa cushion, tearing apart newspapers, coloring the walls with crayons and lots of other things. And this prompts us to wish our children to grow up faster to make our life easier. Hence we start stuffing with pseudo knowledge of their strengths – martial arts, musical instruments and what not. In this process, we apply heavy pressure way too early and completely devoid the child with what they should experience in their age – bedtime stories, building castles in sand and any sort of free play. As we rush through the children, we deprive them with innocence, which they can never achieve any time.

  • Aim for the core

It is moral values that hold the key to lay the right foundation for a great future of your child. As our child grows out to be an adult, it does not matter whether he or she can spin a cricket ball like a top or reach unimaginable speed with skates on their heels. It is the character through which they respect, treat, and believe others that counts the most. That being said, it is very difficult to instantaneously infuse character on kids. They have to be cultivated gradually by allowing them to work hard for achieving better results. Unfortunately, there aren’t short cuts in life and a child should slowly grip this fact.

  • Raise self worth

It is an irrefutable fact that no child can succeed in all competitions. A good parent’s duty is to make the child understand that success alone does not bring self worth for it is the efforts that were put to achieve good results that should be counted. In simple words, parents should encourage the child to work hard rather than earning awards.

All these suggestions can be put into best of practice, if and only If you care for good parenting. If you wish to be a better parent, approach us for suggestions and psychological counseling in Pune at out clinic. Remember, it is only the parents who can make their children a better human being as years roll by.


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